Monday, October 29, 2007

The need for crazy people.


Something that I had written a long time ago. Thought it should resurface :)

(May 23rd 2006)
something stirred me up today, it dug up a
feeling that i hav not felt in MONTHS! i was numbed down, docile,
being pushed into line with the system. then today i attended a
wedding with my dad. One of his long time buddies was finally tying the knot. a hindu wedding, so
there's no song and dance as such. just add lotsa ppl, chaos and pure
joy to the occasion n thts just it. while at this wedding i happened
to meet many of his friends. his tuff to the bone, cop friends and his
sweet talking 'family' type friends. both were pleasant and nice to
meet, well mannered and very jovial people. the hardships of life
never once showing up on their faces for fear of passing it on and
spreading an epidemic. just so u know, they work closely with my dad
on the on-going development work in parel. its been on since the last
13 years now.... my dad faces some real staunch opposition from his own
community, the east-indians of parel bhoiwada. they even tried to
excommunicate us on these grounds. all my dad wants is that these
people move out of their old broken homes and move into new one's that
will be constructed in their place. But no! they shall have none of
it. the latest news that we received is that there is a 'supari' (a
hit) taken out for him. i was there when he got the news. i listened
with wide eyes and fists clenched. i still shudder while i write this.
but when i saw him...he was smiling. not a grin, not a guffaw, just
a smile. one and only one thing passed through my mind at that
instant..... he was 'crazy'. he just had to be.

i decided to confront him, ask him if it was worth it, if he cared
about us, about his family, about himself. i did...and what he told me
has changed me forever. he said,"yes, im crazy!" he said it in hindi
and in marathi. thats all he said. he smiled and i was silenced.

later on during the afternoon his friends asked him if he wanted me to
take up after him, "in the same line" they said. he said nothing, he
just looked at me and said nothing. and in those 3 or 5 seconds he
said more than what a million bible's can hold. and after that he
smiled once again. i think he smiled because he knew my decision. he
knew that i loved the people close to me very much, he knew that i
would draw blood, mine or someone else's for these people that i hold
dear.he knew that i would never do anything remotely possible to hurt
them in any way. he also knew.... that i was crazy.

crazy like him. there is a fine line between bravado and madness.
heroes are many a times madmen in shining armor. i learned this from
him. this madness he said drives them to do things that many men fear.
it makes them move mountains, makes them turn rivers into blood, makes
them die for what they believe in. he told me of the hundreds of
families that have gone to transit camp far away almost 13 years ago.
some as far as mulund. all in the hope that when they return, they
will have better houses, a better foundations for their children's
dreams. he told me about the numerous people who died waiting for this
dream of theirs to come true. they died feeling cheated. but not once
did they blame my father. and this is what hurts him the most. he
feels he has betrayed these people. he cant sleep at night because
these people talk to him, wail and cry. his own mother, died in a hope
that he knew was almost lost. she made him promise her that he will
never give up his cause. and that is why till this day he strives.
he's crazy. he's crazy about his family. he wants to see us in a house
that wo'nt turn into our graves on a rainy day. he crazy about his
friends, many who he has not met in years. he's crazy about their
families. he's crazy about people he dose'nt even know, he wants them
to come up in life. yes my dad is crazy. and i write this with tears
in my eyes, hope in my heart and a prayer on my finger tips... that i
can one day be as crazy as him. i love you dad.
regards,
clyde.
kylo n i alway say this, that we can never be as great as our fathers.
no matter what, no matter how much we try. there is some truth in
this. but kylo, our fathers have taught us this.... the ones holding
the ladder are far greater than the ones that climb it....fin.

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