Of Suicides & Statues

My great city will soon have something else to shout about. Something that will make it a little more popular among its peers. London, Paris, New York will all look in awe at a monument that will set my country back my Rs.500 Crore! What a matter of pride it will be. We will all stand tall, gawking at the mighty statue. A monument & a symbolof our prosperity, unity & peace. It will be a message to the world, that we too aren't far behind. The statue will encompass the true spirit of the city as it stands alone out there at sea. Facing wind, water & the future. It will carry with it, on its huge shoulders, all our hopes & prayers. All our wants will disappear & euphoria will embrace all who see it. This giant symbol of my city will be a sign to all weary travellers, the lost & the needy. It will welcome them with open arms, embracing them with a promise to pave their dreams with gold. There will be no more pain, there will be no more terror. Peace will forever reign. All thanks to this towering messiah of a monument. We will all be saved.

The truth is far from what I would like it to be. If wishes were horses then India & my city would ride like the wind. Ahead of everyone. In this nation of professional dreamers, the winners will always be the ones who sell us the BIG dreams. And who else can do this better than our chosen ones. Our elected saviours, the ones who have carefully & tediously studied every minute problem that you & I face as an individual, are busy as you read this. Concocting another intoxicating dose, made specially for your dreams. Thus, after many committees, meetings, tea, biscuits & some rather expensive international holidays...err...visits our city decides that a solution to all our problems would be to erect a giant statue far out into the sea. This will not only solve our problems of congestion, crime & resource crunches but will also propel us into the league of world class cities. What an achievement that would be! Viva La Mumbai!

I do not expect our blind parliament to open its eyes to our plight & hence I shall resist from addressing this message to them in any way. This message is intended to the intelligent human beings out there. The ones who go to work the day a bandh is called. The ones who sweat it out in crowded compartments, wade through knee deep sewage, spend 4 hours a day stuck in traffic, the ones who pay through their nose to get a square foot to lay their tired heads on...just to keep this city running. And yet, this statue will do them no good. Their hard earned cold hard cash, snatched away from them in the form of taxes will be spent on a cold hard monument left to rust far out at sea.

Our Politicians... on a really busy day.

But I'm sure our dictators feel& know differently. I'm sure that according to them (or their astrologers), this magical structure will yeild astronomical results. The statue is miraculously expected to stop farmers form Vidharba from committing suicide. Their crops might bloom & a bumper bonus too is expected. The Latur belt will never bear witness to earthquakes again. Inflation will drop to a meagre 3%. Salaries will increase. Roads will get better as corporators & corporations get less corrupt. Our trains will increase in size, or we might shrink, they will also arrive on time. All court cases will see the light of day the very same day the case has been registered. No innocent man will ever spend a night in jail again. Crime will be reduced by 300%. Women will walk the streets freely & without fear as all eve teasers will now suddenly grow a conscience thanks to the statue's ever watchful gaze. Property prices will be reasonable again, builders will start building towers closer to the statue, thus opening up a whole new world of housing solutions. Poverty will be reduced to almost nil & any & all migrants will be welcomed with smiles & garlands. And last but not the least, pigs will fly.

So if the Rs. 500 Crore (that's Rs. 500, 000, 000, 000) monument is totally worth it don't you think. Once we have achieved Utopia here, we should all support the Taj corridor which will reverse Global Warming as well. Jai Hind.